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Tag / funny

GReddy e-manage

From the official site at, GReddy e-manage is described as:

e-Manage is an inexpensive programmable fuel management system that allows you to properly tune your factory fuel system without having to change the entire factory ECU system to an expensive “stand-alone” unit. The e-Manage system is a universal “piggy-back” type unit which taps into most Japanese factory ECU wiring, by utilizing the existing sensors…

but the English description of the Japanese performance product says otherwise. Take a look at the close up.

Close up of the description
another classic translation job by the GReddy team

Verbatim from the box:
“GReddy e-manage” is excellent in the generality and the expansion. And it is a low price further. Therefore, you can direct an engine too economy, easily. The dealer of the product of GReddy of the whole country supports “e-manage”. Then, you are relieved, and you can choose it. Future tuning begins first from “e”.

It’s amazing how company who make such great performance parts can come up with such classic writings. I’m sure Paul is very happy with this unit.

If you bite your nails like there’s no tomorrow or you know someone who does, please pay attention and read on. While you might have already heard about the other disadvantages of the habit of peeling of nails with your teeth, there is another very pragmatic downside to it that might have eluded you.

Forget about the unhygienic factor, the bacteria, or the reverse aestheticity of nail biting.

You see, the other day, being a prankster that I am, I adjusted my coworker’s watch to half an hour ahead of the actual time. But instead of scolding me and readjust it back herself, she was nicely asking me to do it. And then I found out, with no nails and a small watch, she couldn’t pull the dial out!

Without nails -> no ability to keep the correct time -> time mismanagement / late -> piss off friends -> no more friends -> depression -> not eat / eat too much -> unhealthy -> die

This is bad.

all nails bitten off
This is how short her nails are.

cannot adjust watch dial
No way she coulda pull out the dial by herself.


According to a famous Chinese provobe “Know the origin of that water you drinking, NOOB!”, or in mandarin “ying sui shi yen”. The idea is that you shall remember how your food came about.

Now I’m sure most of you have either eaten, or at least know what a caesar salad is, but how many of you know the origin of caesar salad? According to this page in culinaryarts site, it’s from the name of the creater, Caesar Cardini. Some might even say it was to the great Caesar in ancient Rome.

Those are lies! I shall reveal the long kept secret that is the origin of caesar salad to the world here.

Once upon a time there was a lady on diet who went to a restaurant late night to have a fix. It was 5 minutes to closing. She ordered a salad, any salad.

The waiter then took the order to the kitchen that was already closing. The chef, chef Ahbeng, gave a sour face and then look at what he’s got left that hasn’t been put away and locked yet.. and what he found was these..

items to make salad

a loaf of french bread, romaine lettuce, olive oil, parmesan cheese, garlic, and a pair of scissors.

He’s already kept the knifes in the safe, and was too lazy to unlock, he wasn’t in the best of mood that night anyway.

So he use the scissor to cut up the ingredients, put them in a plate, added olive oil and some Worcestershire sauce too. Shoved it to the waiter and called it the scissor salad.

Caesar SaladIt was served to the customer, she liked it, alot. In fact, she was a writer for a famous culinary magazine. She wrote about it, and thought that it was actually called ceasar salad. The rest of the world followed.

There you go, know your food!


On The Sun and other news sources today, Russell Crowe was reported whacking some hotel staff in New York due to poor service. In my opinion, he should be stripped off the Best Male Actor award he got from Gladiator simply for the fact that he didn’t act in that film, it was his nature to be whacking people.

Now we have a friend who is quite prominent on this blog. This dude has a history of wanting to whack people off the slightest annoyance. In fact, he was once forced to hang out at the conference room of the infamous ss2 police station for 9 hours for whacking a dude. 9 hours without food, water, or a chance to go to the toilet. Ouch. Fortunately he was let go without charges.

I tried my best imagining what would happened if we put Russell and our friend in the same picture, and all I can come up with was this.. Cheers.

Russell PWNED Fag

My Computer

June 2, 2005 1 Comment

Technology News reported today that Microsft is dropping the “My” prefix from “My Computer”, “My Documents” and the likes from the next version of windows.

Now this is going to clear up some confusions about who’s document to explore on tech support phone calls. However, there are still alot of funny software names made famous by Microsoft. Here’s a skid to demonstrate, blatantly ripped from here

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.
COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
COSTELLO: For my office?
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”.
COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it’s a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I’m at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue “1”.
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue “1”.
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue “1” is Real One and the blue “W” is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there’s three words in “office for windows”!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it’s the most popular Word in the world.
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren’t many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn’t even part of Office.
COSTELLO: STOP! Don’t start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on “START”…….

Abbott and Costello were most famous from their baseball sketch “Who’s on first”. You can find the sketch here.