Ever been to a mamak stall, ask for Maggie mee goreng, the friendly mamak waiter answered you, but it was too noisy and all you got to see was his signature head shakes and you are left with no freaking clue if that was a yes or a no?

You are in luck today, after extensive research and several consultation sessions with proper Tamil friends, I have come up with the answer. The ultimate decryption on the most complicated head shaking culture on earth.

Concentrate when the friendly mamak shakes his head, there are actually 2 different ways. First, as the graphic below points out, the “Type A” shake, the dude actually pivots his nose and swings his chin and forehead in the OPPOSITE direction. When the chin goes left, the forehead goes right, and vice versa. This, my friend, is a YES

Now, “Type B”, when the neck is the pivot. The mamak dude will swing his whole head left and right. Pretty much like the prevailing culture’s normal gesture for a NO. It is that simple. Now you wonder why the heck you never thought of it.

Moral of the lesson:

• Shake = yes
• Swing = no
• My drawings are just so cool

Tags:  drawing

Posted by KY_a | 4 Comments »

Due to popular demand by the likes of Kimberly and FireAngel, I have decided to exercise my creativity and artistic skill to once again revisit anatomy of female hygienic practice, and propose a pragmatic way for improvement. So here we go, a lesson in pee standing for those without the manly tool.

Note: Post is graphical, parental advisory

How many times have you gals went to a public toilet, just to find that it’s so filthy and unhygienic that you would rather wish you are a guy? With the “modern toilet”, squatting “Type B” on the elevated bowl is rather difficult and challenging. Necessity is the mother of all invention, so here goes –

HOW TO PEE STANDING (FEMALE and post-operative shemale)

The wrong way

Do not, I repeat, do not ever just imitate a guy to pee standing. YOU CAN’T aim! Consult the graphic below so I can save some disturbing descriptions. You will simply make a big mess.

The right way

1. If you don’t smoke, find a friend who does, and ask him or her for the used cigarette box, hard pack preferred.
2. Rip off the cover, and also the bottom
3. Fit the bottom to your opening while standing like a man in front of the toilet bowl, aim
4. Fire away, adjust aiming if you miss, or if you see them roaches starting to creep up

I hope you find this educational.

Moral of the lesson:

• If you don’t have the right tool, do not attempt the impossible
• Smokers are your friends
• My artistic skill is the pwn

Tags:  drawing,  funny

Posted by KY_a | No Comments »

Ladies and gentlemen, I am your substitute teacher, Mr. KY, and the topic for today is “the proper stance for female using old school squatting toilet”

As we all know, Malaysia, as a third-world country, retains many legacy systems in our daily lives. While some are a form of blessing, others sometimes prove to be a source of exercise in frustration. One of the blessings is of course, the old school toilet bowl.

Now, there are many benefits to the old school toilets. Let me iterate them in an easy-to-read point form:

• Leg exercise
• No splashing when shitting
• Easy to clean
• Nostalgic value
• Your dogs can even use it (beat that, new toilet!)

For guys, assuming you still have the tool you are born with, follow the same way, except replace sitting with squatting. Hence the title specify “female”, you know I am not sexist now don’t you?

For female, I have drawn up some graphics to show you how to use it properly. Please do not be astonished by my natural talent in painting, I know I am that good.

First, let us examine the difference between the two toilet systems. On your left is the new invention we can leave without, and on the right, is our beloved legacy system.

Now, the real lesson begins. Listen carefully you gals. To pee, please use the all-powerful “Type A” method. The advantages are:

• Shoot direct to the hole, less cleaning required later
• A chance to practice your shooting skills like a man
• A chance to shoot the roaches that are creeping up
• Enjoy looking at graffiti on the wall

It gets exciting now. To shit, commence the all-interesting “Type-B” method. The advantages are:

• Shit straight to the hole, less cleaning required alter
• A chance to practice your shitting aim
• A chance to bomb the roaches that are creeping up
• Enjoy looking at graffiti on the door

You must have thought that the lesson is finished by now. But wait, there is more. When you are peeing, and suddenly decided to shit, swiftly change from “Type-A” to “Type-B” immediately, to enjoy all 8 distinct advantages! However, after my intense research, it is found that gals are not advisable to switch from “Type-B” to “Type-A” when shitting, and suddenly decided to pee. The most common reason being that one might shit again after peeing, and it’ll be too much of an occupational hazard to switch too many times in one session.

Moral of the lesson:

• Keep our toilets clean
• Kill them roaches
• I am cool

Class dismiss!

Tags:  drawing,  funny

Posted by KY_a | 1 Comment »