I had promised my colleague some weeks ago that I will try to puasa (fasting) for at least a day, just to get a feel of what it is like. So yesterday I did just that, and since you can read this entry, it’s a living proof that I am survived it.

The hardest part of the whole ordeal was waking up for Sahur (pre-fasting breakfast). I crawled out of bed at around 4:30am in the morning, drove all the way from PJ to Ampang in a hurry. Fasting time starts at around 5:40am, I reached Ampang at 5am to allow ample time for a nice heavy breakfast.

Try having a full plate of rice with fried chicken and curry at that hour, it was not easy to gorge all of that in. I drank a glass of teh ais and another glass of warm water for good measure.

Sahur time (5am), and 4pm, dancing stomach.

So, not a single drop of water or an food in my system, from 5:30 am onwards. It wasn’t really all that bad. The morning was fine, you do get thirsty about 3-4 hours after the meal, but it’s not any more than after exercise, and it didn’t really get progressively worse as the day went by. As for hunger, my stomach had a rock concert going on at around 3-4pm, but sort of got used to it thereafter.

My colleague called at 7pm to wish me Selamat Buka Puasa, I told her I was buying boxed noodle at pasar malam, with pork. hee-hee. It was an interesting experience, to paraphrase one of my friends: “you feel more in control of your body after you do that.” I might do it again next Monday, anyone wants to join?

Posted by KY_a | No Comments »

Following the lesson on how not to write friendster messages, I have realised that it is not a very good idea to only teach about what you can’t do. So, to give a more constructing lesson, I am going to attempt to teach you the art of peotry.

Upon completion of this lesson, you will, hopefully, be able to compose some ultra romantic poems to get that chick that you have always set your eyes upon.

Exhibit A:
lets sit in horng’s waja
and go to genting
when u are on my paha
i feel very the stim

Analysis:
This one is a little on the naughty side, you know, you can only write this to a chick whom you have gone out with, but has been difficult to get the relationship to that next level. A little hint that you want her to be your new laptop companion might stir up her imagination and viola! You’re on your way to a happy ending

Exhibit B:
we are destined together
like fish needs water
for you without i
is like wingless bird cannot fly

Analysis:
Slightly more romantic, a good use of analogy to showcase your creative side. Be imaginative, be bold, be wild. It’s a confession of feelings, you know, like telling you really belong to her, that with you by her side, the life is oh so more meaningful. Use this one when you are parepared to take the plunge.

Exhibit C:
your smile is so sweet
like god put extra sugar in ur mouth
i am happy as a kid
when u are inside my house

Analysis:
A reflection of the time spent together in your house. You want the girl to know that you appreciated whatever both of you have done in your house, and that you want her to come again. Well, that can mean both of you sat at your couch watching Shrek 2, or maybe something more interesting, I’ll leave this to your imagination. A message like this will surely melt her heart like butter under hot sun. Totally owning.

Conclusion:
Well well, here I presented you the 3 classes of poems you can use to impress your chick. Lets recall:
1st - you want to get a bit physical
2nd - you reveal your true feeling
3rd - you want her to live with you

That’s it folks, be creative. Thank you thank you, I’ll be here all week.

Posted by KY_a | No Comments »

So I was talking to FA yesterday, and the topic of friendster came up somehow. Being the hotstuff spicey stuff that she is, she gets alot of friendster messages from all sorts of guys. Unfortunately, most of them are Ah Bengs incapable of formulating any coherent thoughts, or mastering the English language. Why she attracts those kind of guys? Well that’s a different topic of discussion altogether, and I am hesitant to formulate a theory as I still feel like it’s a good thing to have my head attaching to my neck.

Here are the few examples, courtesy of the ever more interesting FA. For you guys, remember, these are the examples of how NOT to write friendster messages, if you want to have any hope.

Exhibit A:
r u real lady or a doll ? u must have come from other planet,God put extra sugar in ur smile, i came from canada but i m here in kl sunway area.,write me abt ur smile pls

Analysis:
From FA: “IT’s NOT EVEN CUTE TO A TROLL!”
Advice: Do not be too cheesy, and if you must, at least respect your target’s intellectual capacity.

Exhibit B:
Hi, can we as friends??? So our relationship may Improve from time to time (like a fish need Water). Hope u accept mind as best friends in yr Life. Let’s my love goes in yr spirit. I care for you;let’s us share all (you and me) happiness and burden. Lets us be friends until this end of the world. Can I have yr contact number/MSN/Yahoo Messenger ID? Have a nice day and u so beautiful

Analysis:
From FA: “NO! LOOKS LIKE A RETARD!”
Advice: So, do not freaking write like a retard, learn to use better analogy, and don’t assume that you will live to see the end of the world.

Exhibit C:
ello….u sooo cuteeee i would like to add u izzit ok ? actully i dun really konw english my fren
type it for me ger…so can i have your hp no…? most easy way to chat about if cannot nvm or u can send e mail to me ok here my mail dannyloong41@gmail.com (censored-email) hope can get your mail back as soon u can…or better can get your hp number…….miss u byeee hehehe

Analysis:
From FA: “WTF!??!?!?! WTF WTF?!?!”, “HIS name is “o my god”
Advice: First, it’s bad to ask your friend to type a friendster message for you. Second, if you must, at least make sure your friend can really write in English. Third, naming yourself “o my god” is never a good idea.

Exhibit D:
R u have MSN Messeger ? If u have , add me K? My ID is loveJamesNg@hotmail.com (censored-email, again) Hope can meet u online soon ya .

Analysis:
From FA: “LOVEJAMESNG!! KILL ME NOW!”
Advice: Never, never use such a stupid sounding email address.

Exhibit E:
Hello dear…my name’s Shin…how are you?? I’m fine here.. hope you’re fine too.. *hugs*.. I just
came across your profile… would like to be friends first, maybe more than that later.. First
of all… let me introduce myself…. I’m 30 from KL….am currently involved in networking biz with friends.. previously was working as an IT consultant… I’m 5′7″, short black hair, dark brown eyes, slightly tanned, wear specs, thin and tall.

I love movies, sentimental and instrumental music and reading.. plus snooker, sports and outdoors.. I love nature and enjoy taking strolls while enjoying nature’s beauty…. I’m the quiet and sentimental kinda guy….can be quite shy at times….but do know how to have fun after getting to know each other better.. I think that roughly covers the general part of me….If you have anything you want to ask…please do…..I will answer everything truthfully and to the best I can…. *smiles* Please do tell me a general introduction about yourself…. *smiles* I think I have to go now….. will be waiting for your reply… By the way, ..hope to hear from you soon..Bye.. love,

Shin..

Analysis:
From FA: *chokes and dies*
Advice: I feel lucky that this guy is no longer in IT field. I’d die if I have to read the documentation he writes..

Conclusion:
So, a very big thank you to FA, we shall learn from this. If any of you wish to leave a “frienster style message” to her. Please do so in the comment, she might be interested you know. Since it is pretty much impossible to write anything worse than the examples, you probably stand a decent chance.

Posted by KY_a | 3 Comments »

A friend of mine went to Redang last year, and brought me a cup of sand from the beach, that was kept in a starbucks cup. I put it on top of my PC, and it remained there without much fanfare, and I thought: why not get some entertainment value outta it?

So I had a discussion with my clients at my workstation a while back. Both of them are women of 30+, conservative Malay ladies equipped with tudung and traditional baju kurung. Lets call them Puan A, and makcik N.

Puan A got here first, and in the middle of discussion with her, she asked “what’s that on top of your PC? Some sort of kacang or asam?”

“Well why don’t you try some?” I replied. Since I always ate her food at her office, I thought I’d return the favor.

She took the cup, slowly open up the lid, dug her fingers into the sand.. took some .. and before I had the chance to stop her, she put it into her mouth.

“YUCK YUCK YUCK *puke/spit* ” and I gave her some tissues while laughing my ass off. She was the first victim of the day. “Jahat la you” was what she said. hehehe

Makcik N arrived thereafter, and inevitably she started asking.. “Oh, what’s that in the cup?”

“I don’t know, but you can try some” or something was what I replied. Knowing me, she was abit suspecious, but she still thought it’s some sort of food.

“KY ni jahat, must be something funny..” she said. “You can ask Puan A what it is, she’s tried it just now” I said.

She was trying to ask Puan A while extending her hand to the cup… but all Puan A could do was laughing non stop while Makcik N repeated what Makcik N did 10 minutes ago. Putting the sand in her mouth.

This time both of us were rolling on the floor laughing while the makcik wiping her mouth off and spitting into the tissue and telling me “Ku akan ingat kan youuuuuuuu!” (I will remember you!)

hehehe.

A couple of weeks later, an excerpt of the email sent from Makcik N to the team including myself and Puan A.

“Puan A,
Whatever it is.. kite dua2 makan pasir ! (both of us ate sand!)”

hehehehee. I love my job.

Posted by KY_a | 4 Comments »

I recently travelled to Yangon, Myanmar in a company trip. The experience was very different from Vietnam, a place where I have been on several occasions. While Ho Chi Minh City is bustling with development, Yangon appear to be more like a throw back in time, a backwater of ASEAN.

In Yangon, citizen are not allowed to own motorcycles. While this is a good thing evironmental wise, it makes travelling a very difficult task considering the lack of modern transportation facilities, and cars are prohibitedly expensive. For a country where GPD per capita stands at around US$1,700, a lousy used car can fetch up to US$10,000!

What happen then, is what you see on the pictures above, people crammed on the little modified truck, and pay US$0.02 for the trip to work. Often time a small truck fills up so many passengers that some of them might have to hold on at the back as if performing some stunts. Jackie Chan would be proud.

Most people wears Sarong and sandles to everywhere. Perhaps shoes are a bit too expensive for the economy there. I noticed at the airport (with one and only terminal) that even the lower ranked security officials (up to Sarjen) wore sandles instead of black shoes.

Fortunately, despite the sanction, the city is not all too dead, and there are a few international hotels to be found. I was staying at Traders Hotel, own by non other than the Shangrila group of Malaysia. Bring plenty of cash if you need to pay for your hotel, credit cards are not accepted in Myanmar, due to the sanction. Room rates at a 5 star establishment is decently priced at $50-$70 USD.

2 things you can’t miss in Myanmar. The spectacular Buddish temples, and scores of beggers everywhere. There are alot of monks too. After speaking to a hotel worker, I found out that people at Myanmar usually become a monk when they reach the age of 20. It is optional and done as a traditional/religious practise. One can elect to be a monk for a week, a month, a year, or however long you wish. Many older folks will become monks when they’re old.

On the streets of Yangon, you can find alot of things. Including condoms, don’t ask me about the price, I don’t know. If you have eyes for jade and precious stones, this city offers alot for you. I only got some small jade elephants for friends as I don’t know how to judge the quality of precious stones or jade at all.

Food wise, if you are accustomed to Malaysian food, you should find no trouble at all. Bordering Bangladesh, India, China, and Thailand, the taste is a mixture of those countries. Halal food isn’t hard to come by either. However, I do find that the food generally exhibit a saltier taste than in Malaysia.

Other things to note:

• Communication is heavily restricted. There is no roaming. During anniversaries significant to the now detained democratic leader, phone services are switched off altogether.
• You cannot connect to YM, MSN messenger, Yahoo mail, or Hotmail. I tried to connect to Dalnet server on IRC as a last resort but was redirected to irc.communists.org or something like that.
• Bring alot of cash if you need to pay for the hotel. Credit cards are not accepted since the sanction.
• Exchange rate at airport is 450 kyats to US$1. At “black” market it is 1075 kyats to US$1. Don’t change your money at the airport!
• A visa is required to enter the country, can be obtained from the embassy for RM120 or RM160 if you want them to issue it to you in a day’s time.
• Malaysian girls are alot prettier.

Posted by KY_a | 3 Comments »